Losing Weight

It seems impossible. I hate when I see a girl that is just so skinny, or actually not even really skinny, but thin/a reasonable weight, and I know that that girl doesn't do squat to make herself look that way, she just IS the way she is, she eats whatever she wants, hasn't exercised a day in her life. And every time I see some one like that I just want to scream at her and say do you realize how lucky you are!? Do you realize how hard some people work to look like you!? Do you realize how some people will never look like you!? And I know it is silly, because everyone has a different body style and obviously we don't get to pick our body style (or else everyone would look like Brad Pitt and Heidi Klum, ya know...)  but I can't help but get frustrated, because I have been an athlete for years, I have run miles upon miles, lifted weight after weight, and still I don't think I will ever look the way I want to. I even eat pretty healthy! I don't eat fast food! I rarely drink soda! My diet mainly consists of chicken, brown rice, veggies, and coffee... which I think is pretty good compared to the crap that most people eat. UHHHH I just want to be thin, or at least be a size that I am comfortable. And it is not like I am fat. I just don't feel good the way I am now. I complain about my butt and thighs mostly and people say "Oh that's just you though, you have always had a big booty and thunder thighs and probably always will. You run so it's okay, as long as you are in shape what does it matter, blah blah blah." Well, NO. NO NO NO. It is not okay!It does matter... to me. I don't want to just feel/be in shape, I want to look in shape. Is it really something I can't change? I am sick of having to buy a size 31 jeans and then get them hemmed because the size 31 jeans are really made for people that are 6 feet tall, not for a 5'4" girl with short little legs. I don't like having to do the pants dance and jiggy my way into jeans, then do lunges around my room so that they are not so tight that my eye balls are gonna pop out! OH, hey Brooke...why don't you just buy pants that fit you, ya know...the right size??? UM yeah... like I buy tight pants on purpose!!! You see, the bigger the size, the higher the waist, the longer the length. If I got pants any bigger than I already do they would be 3 feet too long and the zipper would come up to my belly button. Sexy huh? Anyways, I just hope that someday I can fit into a pair of jeans and feel good in them. It bothers me that I am saying all of this because I really don't think it is healthy when people are so concerned about the way they look. But it's not all about looking good to me...I want to feel good. Because if I feel good, then I will be happier, then maybe things will go better, and I will be motivated to continue to look good and feel good and be happy. It is a whole circle I guess. Well, I am done rambling about my insecurities. Thanks for putting up with it:) XOXO.