Hello All!!! I am way over-do for a blog update! Sorry I have been slacking, but I will fill you guys in. Well, basically I have just been going to school. I have had a pretty heavy work/study load lately and it is stressing me out, but I just keep thinking just 4 more weeks, just 4 more weeks, and I get to be done, see Nathan, and GO HOME! I started work a couple weeks ago, I am still training, but this Sunday I have my first official barista shift! I am really nervous cause there is so much I have to remember, but I think I will okay once I get into it and get the hang of it. Hmm what else?? Lacrosse is going well. I like all our little rookies:) That is pretty much all I have been doing though. School, lacrosse, and work. But it is keeping me super busy! It has finally cooled off here, and I am loving it! I just can't wait for winter. It is getting so close. In 26 days Nathan is home and then he is gonna come see me and we will drive back to San Diego together, then spend all of winter break together and it is going to be amazing! I am so so so so unbelievably excited! Alright, well I don't think I have much else to say. Love you all! XOXO

What do I want?

-I want my best friend to be alive.

-I want my boyfriend to live in the same country as me.

-I want school to be easier.

-I want my family to be healthy.

-I want to be able to be happy without trying so hard to be.

-I want it to be December.

-I want to be done with college.

-I want to see my family.

-I want to be able to see Nathan more than twice a year.

-I want...

A little birdy told me that Riki wants to hear some more of my complaining!! So I guess I will fill you all in on the last couple weeks, or is it days? When's the last time I wrote? Anyways, not too much has happened. Lacrosse started, and I am so glad!!! We are doing runs and throws, but nothing too serious until the 22nd when official practices start. I should be finding out this week if I got into the college of education. And I also should be finding out if I got a job or not. So I am keeping my fingers crossed for both of those! Me and my roommates had a party on Friday and the theme was white trash :) It was super fun, but someone stole my ipod :( And now whoever stole my ipod has seemed to hack into my facebook and email. My fb and email automatically connect on my ipod (itouch) so when they turned it on they had access to all my stuff. It is really creepy and I am super bummed. My camera also broke that night, lame, but that is fixable and I am going to send it in to Nikon so they can figure out what's up with it. The weather has been nicer this past week, but it is starting to go up again. There were a couple days where I could wear jeans and a sweater, but now I am back to jeans and a t, and later this week it's gonna be back to SHORTS! Icky. October seems to be going by pretty fast I think, we are like halfway through! I can't wait for this semester to be over! As you all already know haha. But I just can't say it enough. This has been the semester from HELL! GAHhhhHHhha. SO so so so so ready for it to be break so I can see my family, see Nathan, have a break, be in the cold, go to the beach, and the list goes on and on! Jack is snuggling with me right now :) He is such a good boy! He is always sleeping on my bed when I get home from class, and he is just so so cute! I just LOVE him! Well, I don't have much else to say. XOXO

Lovely Day

It is beautiful in Tucson today. It probabl wont last long, but I am enjoying it while I can. I am sitting in the grass under a tree :) I love it. I am meeting a couple of my teammates for lunch in a but, and I don't really have much to do right now cause my class got out super early.I leave tomorrow morning for Santa Barbara, and I will be staying with Danika so I am so excited! I miss her! Then I come back Sunday and we have Jessica's 21st Birthday Dinner. THEN study study study. I have 2 more tests next week, then one the next week, then I finally have a little break. That will be 5 straight weeks of test. That's ridiculous. Anyways, I don't have much to say, I am just bored. XOXO.

It's Wednesday!

Hello, so halfway through the week! I have lots to fill you in on, I think? Um, first of all, on Monday I had my College of Education interview! It consisted of a group interview and an individual interview. They both went amazingly well! The woman who did the group interview said we were her best group, and I had 2 principals interview me in my individual and I think that went super well too. And I find out in about 2 weeks whether I got in or not, I am soo excited!! And more good news, I finally got a job interview at Starbucks, so that is in Monday and I am super stoked. Me and Casey leave for Santa Barbara Saturday morning to make our game schedule for lacrosse, and we will be getting back Sunday afternoon. Um what else? I had a paper due today, so I was up late last night finishing that, and I have a religion test tomorrow so I will be up late again studying for that. Then I have another government test on Monday, and an art test later in the week. So, for the past 3 weeks, and the next 2 I will have had or will have at least one test each week. WOW too much! We had our lacrosse info meeting last night and that went well, a lot of girls showed up. We will start unofficial practices next week on the mall. I went to yoga last night and that was good, we did a lot of meditating and it was really relaxing :) I am super tired today cause I was up late and I still have until 4 when I am done with classes. THEN I get to study! Yay! Um what else can I tell you?? Um, it has been 6 days since I have talked to Nathan. Very weird and lame. But he got to travel around England this weekend so I am sure he had lots of fun. I don't think I have much more to tell. Things haven't been too exciting here in Tucson. Alright well, bye. XOXO.

Friday, Friday

So, it's Friday. This has been a moderately good week, much better than the last one at least. Right now I am sitting in a big comfy chair in the bookstore, enjoying a venti iced non-fat peppermint white mocha. WOW, that's a mouthful. And I am about to meet my friend Erica for lunch! I have my COE interview coming up on Monday, and I am so nervous. So keep your fingers crossed for me! Last night I went to yoga and it was amazing. Like, I felt so good afterwards, and it just put me in such a great state of mind. From now on it is every Tuesday and Thursday so I am so happy about that!! Next week is also our first lacrosse meeting, so we will have a room in the rec center and all the players and new freshman will come and me and the other president, Casey, will tell them all about how awesome lacrosse is and how much our team rocks!!! And then next weekend me and Casey will be going to Santa Barbara for the WWLL meeting to make our schedule for the spring. We are hoping to be able to fly there instead of drive. If we can stay at my best friend Danika's house then we can fly, but we won't know if we can stay there till after this weekend because Danika plays soccer at UCSB and she is not sure if they will be traveling that weekend or not. I am hoping NOT, cause I really don't want to drive. Good news, I am a quarter of the way through this semester! I have had 3 tests, I have 2 more next week, and a paper due today and next week. WOW. I am gonna be busy busy with stuff this weekend! I will probably be spending the majority of my time in Starbucks haha. But that's nothing out of the ordinary. As you all know I am trying to get a job. I applied to 9 places, but haven't heard back yet. I am gonna check up on my apps this weekend I think. Um, what else is new? I guess not much. I am absolutely in love with my kitty, Jack. He is my best little friend, except in the morning when I am laying in bed talking to Nathan on the computer and he feels the need to sit with his butt in my face so I can't see the screen AND attack my fingers while I type. But other than that I just adore him, and I am so so glad that I have him. I sent Nathan a big box of goodies and what not yesterday, no knowing that it was going to cost me an arm and a leg to send. First I went to UPS and they told me it would be 160 dollars to send, and I was like HELLLLLLL NO, yeah right cause I have that kind of money! So then I took it to the post office and ended up sending it for 42 dollars there. Which is a big difference! But the thing with the post office is... there is no guarantee when and if it will actually get there. They told me that they usually don't have problems with packages getting lost when sent to England, but that you never know... and when the package leaves the US and enters the UK they no longer have any control or anything so it is in the hands of the UK post office or whatever. So I am a little nervous that it is gonna get lost, but I will just think happy positive thoughts and hope for the best. AND hope that it doesn't take too long cause I put homemade cookies in there... and if they get there in a month... ewwwww hahaha. Um what else can I tell you??? How about why doesn't anyone else update their blog anymore!! Come on people! Anyways, tonight we are having girls night. Me, Jessica, Kristin, and maybe Yael are going to go to dinner, and then we are going to watch Now and Then. We always joke that we are the Now and Then girls when we ride out bikes to school, cause we ride in a straight line side by side haha. We are just too cute;) I am not sure if I have much else to tell you. I think I have pretty much covered it all. I started reading P.S. I Love You again cause I just love that book so much, but I would like to find another really good book to read, so if anyone has any suggestions let me know. There are a lot of tours on campus right now. It is funny to think that like 3 years ago I was on one of those tours. And now I am a junior!! So weird! But I am glad, I think I am ready to be done with college. It is nice and all, but I can't wait to actually be teaching a class of my own and be back home and be able to see Nathan everyday. Hmmm. Alright, well gotta go. XOXO.

Sunday

Today I applied to 3 more Starbucks, that makes it 5 total, so cross your fingers for me. Gramma and Poppy stopped by on their way home from Sedona and took me to lunch. It was really nice to see them. After that I went to Cutters and met up with Kristin and Jessica. I was doing pretty good all day until I got home and was alone again. Of course I fell apart, big surprise.  I am praying this gets easier. If anyone has any advice for me on how to get through this, please please help me out...XOXO

Saturday

I am at Cutters Point Coffee right now, I just had to get out of my house. I have been filling out job apps for a while and I just finished. I can't decide whether I am gonna go home or stay here and study for math. I don't really want to be at home, especially since I would be alone... but I don't really want to be alone here either. Nathan said he would be able to talk later tonight... meaning this afternoon for me, so hopefully that actually happens, but I just hate the feeling I have while I am waiting to talk to him. The people behind me are having a bible study and I have been listening to them. Sometimes I wish I was a religious person... I think it would be nice to have something to look up to that could help me make sense of my life right now. I believe in God and all, and sometimes I pray for help or relief... but I don't have a deep understanding of God and the Bible and all that. And I wonder if I did, if right now I would have some kind of outlet, if I would be more positive ya know. I need some help finding some inner peace so that I can be happy. I think I already told you this, but I am going to start going to yoga with one of my roommates. It is 2 days a week, and they do meditation as well as yoga. I think that it will be really good for my body, mind, and spirit. Someone told me that when I feel sad, that I need to do something for either my body, my mind, or my spirit... and this will do it all I think. My mind is always racing, and my heart is always beating so fast so I am hoping this will calm to down. I am like a hummingbird... my heart beats so fast all the time.... I am afraid it is going to shorten my life span. We will see. I have decided that I really need to take some action on getting myself better, and in a more positive state of mind. I am going to put all of my angry and sad energy into school. And I think that if I think positive and work hard and imagine myself being successful this semester then I may be able to get through it. And I am praying that I get a job. Feeling productive, and important can really change me. If I feel unimportant, or like I am not doing anything, then I feel really bad myself, which in turn makes me feel bad about my life. But if I feel like I am doing something, I am productive, important, needed, then I feel better about myself. I have a very complex mind. It never stops. I guess I get that from my Dad. His wheels are always turning.... and so are mine. That's why I never sleep. There is too much going on inside my head. Anyways, I guess that is enough for now. XOXO.

 Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough. ♥

I don't want to feel like this...