My classes are not based on a bunch of homework assignments, so homework is not my problem, it is the pressure to take state of the art, descriptive, notes and study them very carefully and remembering every last thing, so that I don't totally screw up the tests, which my whole grade is based upon. Yeah... no pressure. And now that I am almost off academic probation I am going to be needing to decide on major so that I can catch up and take the classes I need to take, BUT that is a really hard decision to make when I don't know what the hell I really want to do with night. I flip from one major to the other every other day, I just can't make up my mind. And the time of day that I always really worry about what I am going to do is right when I turn the lights off to go to bed, so then it takes me at least an hour or two to fall asleep, because I am sick to my stomach with anxiety. It is not so great. So, I try to listen to music to get my mind off of it, but that doesn't help, it just gives me one more thing to put through my brain while I am trying to calm down. It is a ridiculous cycle. I need help!!!
And this probably doesn't make much sense to anyone but me, but the heat here is making me even more stressed. I feel trapped inside my apartment when I am not on campus because it is way too hot to go outside. When I get to my car after walking from class I am drenched with sweat, it is disgusting. And I would LOVE to go on a run outside when I have nothing else to do, but NO, it is too freaking HOT!! I would probably have a heatstroke and die. I feel like I never do anything, because it is just too hot, TOO HOT! So, basically, I am lazy and fat. EW.
Alaska sounds really nice right now.
Really
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