goodmorning

I got a whopping total of 5 hours of sleep last night! I stayed till about midnight talking to Nathan, because he woke up and had time to talk before he went to class. Then I woke up at 5 to talk to Nathan again. I didn't actually wake up on purpose at 5, but my body just woke up because I think I knew I was going to get to talk to him. But of course we didn't actually talk until about 6, so I just laid in my bed, with this growing anxious feeling in my chest. When I talk to him lately I feel sick to my stomach/really sad. I think that will go away once I actually accept the fact that he is in stupid England. But for now, it's just gonna be hard for me to talk to him:( I am gonna try to have a more positive attitude about this because I know I can't change it, but I am gonna have t work at it. This is very hard for me. I feel really sad all day, until a couple hours before I go to bed when I start to feel better. But then I go to sleep, and when I wake up I feel sad again. The morning is the worst for some reason. Every morning when I wake up I get like butterflies in my stomach and that anxious feeling in my chest, then I get really depressed and cry. But as the day goes on, I feel a little better. I don't know.